So you’ve landed a first date with a brand new lady and now you’re getting more and more nervous as the date approaches closer and closer. No need to be! Nature, the Universe, God has already decided that the attraction is there. No need to impress someone who’s already impressed by you. To be yourself is always the way to go.
The first date is simply to hook up, hang out and have fun to borrow a phrase from a life coach I greatly appreciate, Corey Wayne.
You want your date to be fun and not seem like it’s the third degree or some sort of job interview. Keep questions light-hearted and shaped in a way which makes a woman feel good about herself. Remember, women respond emotionally to questions, inside. The last thing you wanna do is make her feel bad about herself or just generally make her feel bad due to an ill-fated, poorly constructed and untimely question which has no place at a first date. A quality question could be, what’s your most fun memory as an adult?
You definitely don’t wanna seem as if you’re prying. When you meet someone through Freaya that means we’ve done the initial heavy lifting for you when it comes down to the questioning. Digging up the past is not very appropriate as well. Really deep, life altering questions are for those who have actually been together a lot longer. Keep things lighthearted and fun on that first date. She wants to feel safe with you and if you’re really lucky you get to make her laugh as well. If and when she’s really attracted to you she will laugh at your silly jokes anyway. Be charming and kind. Chivalrous and tease her a little. Be confident. Don’t try to make your first date into a summary of all your achievements neither. They are meaningless if she doesn’t feel safe around you. Women love praise. Praising her is a great way to make her feel safe around you. Not in a cheese way but actually praising her when it’s appropriate is a wonderful gift to her.
Yes, your first date is just to see if you are able to hook up, hang out and have fun, again. Are you vibing throughout the date with this brand new person and what is your gut feeling telling you? I can’t stress enough how important this is because this will set the stage for potentially a lifetime together. A lot of relationships develop the tendency to grow complacent and the courtship stops altogether which is very detrimental to any relationship. You’re gonna wanna keep the courtship alive via the art of romance throughout any relationship. And why not? It is fun to love your loved one. He who stops courting his woman is destined to loose her! So, no complacency guys.
The first date is also a date in which you’re gonna wanna be exceptionally honest towards yourself and not give in to the inevitable weaknesses of the flesh. For men the number one criterium when we’re looking for a date is the way she looks. There is nothing inherently wrong with this because as men you’re gonna wanna be with a woman who at the very least represents everything we’re looking for physically, initially. After all, attraction attracts. A good, strong physical attraction is vital, both ways. So when you’re sitting across from a proverbial “hottie” it’s easy to allow red flags in. This is a huge mistake! You have to be strong, have a mindset of abundance and look past her great looks. She could be the most beautiful woman but if she’s not a great match for you and vice versa, you have to be strong and honest about that.
Remember to have a mindset of abundance. There will be other dates if this particular date doesn’t work out. It’s quite alright. But yes, that first date should be light hearted and fun. You do want to give each other the opportunity to talk. That’s why restaurants are great places to meet if you’re not picking her up. They can be cozy and the food, the environment, the ambiance can give you food for thought resulting in potential subjects for conversation. Just be yourself. Be the real you even though in the initial stages we tend to be a little apprehensive. Be kind, be loving and treat your date as if she’s your best friend. Why? Being her best friend is an awesome foundation for a long lasting relationship. I’m not saying that us men should treat a lady like we treat our best male buddy but you get the idea. Best friends uplift each other under the most difficult circumstances and that is a wonderful place to court your date from.
When the date is over you should overall have a positive feeling. After all, we’re trying to build the emotional connection at this stage assuming the physical connection is mostly there. If that wasn’t the case something is wrong and you need to analyze this honestly and carefully. Never look away from red flags. They are called red flags for a reason and to accept them is to accept potential future strife. Not everyone, again assuming there is a physical connection, is gonna be a great match for you in real life and that okay. We’ve all been there, we’ve all done that. Be very honest towards yourself. That is truly the only way to go because you do deserve that special lady/man as much as she deserves that special man/lady.
In summary, your first date is mainly to have fun. If you cannot have fun together, you might as well stay home. Couples need this time together in the future, one on one, away from the kids, the job and day to day responsibilities. If you cannot answer a fast and resolute yes to the answer whether or not you’d love to have a second date with this person then you know what to do.
Have fun on that first date!
Warm regards,
Mike from Freaya